don't worry, be happy.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Don't cry over spilled milk. When you fall off the horse, you pick yourself up and get back on. These, and countless other trite truisms, come quickly to the mind of the bystander who is on the outside looking in. But when life throws a stick in my spokes, these truisms aren't worth the breath it takes to utter them. Not that these short axioms don't contain elements of truth, but when it comes to applying their principles, truly it is easier said than done. 

While in these low times, the easiest thing to do is just wallow in self-pity. And although the wallowing provides a odd sense of gratification, discouragement only pushes us further down a path of sadness. On the same topic, a wise man said, "Discouragement and its fellow travelers of depression, despair, and hopelessness are much like the proverbial rocking chair: they keep us busily occupied, but they do not take us anywhere." (Spencer J. Condie)

How true it is; especially for someone like me who has such a hard time letting things go and moving on. As I reflect on my life, I realize that I've spent far too much time rocking, and not nearly enough time on my feet, making a difference.

c. johnson

everything's made up and the points don't matter

Up until yesterday, when people asked the tired question, "What is your most embarrassing moment?" I had always answered with a languid, "Um, I don't know." Not to be hard on myself, but is that completely lame or what? I mean, what kind of boring life am I living here? (Those are more of rhetorical questions, by the way.) Last night's events, however, have provided me with not only my claim to fame, but also with a trophy-winning, embarrassing moment.

To tell the story completely, I will backtrack to my teenage years. On any normal weeknight, it was not uncommon to find my family in the basement playing games, shooting pool, and basking in the warm glow of cable television. There was one show, however, that we seldom missed: Who's line is it anyway? I have fond memories of my siblings and I laughing until our faces hurt; then recapping the highlights together and chuckling some more. Well, it's been many years since those times, and I'd almost forgotten about our evening ritual. That is, until my uberthoughtful mother gave me the birthday present of the century--third-row tickets to the Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood show. (For those of you who are lost, they are two of the comedians from Who's line is it anyway?.)

After months of anxious anticipation, my sister Mandy and I finally made our way to Salt Lake City for the show. When they walked out on stage, I could hardly contain my excitement for what was coming. Within seconds, they had the entire audience of 2000 fans throwing their heads back in giddy laughter.

You may be wondering at this point of the story when the embarrassing moment happens. Well, as you may know, these comedians frequently invite people from the audience to participate in the show. About an hour into the performance, they started scanning the audience for assistants. Brad pointed at two guys several rows behind me and said, "You two look like trouble. Come on up here!" In the moments that followed, my spidey sense kicked in, and I knew he was coming for me. Sure enough, Brad looked right at me and said, "You! You look like the opposite of trouble. Come on up!"

To make an already long story short, I'll get to the meaty part. They called us up to be part of a rap music video; and I was a backup dancer. Those of you who know me are realizing right now why this is unquestionably my most embarrassing moment. Simply put, I can't dance. The next few minutes were an awkwardly long series of booty shaking, handstands, and even a cartwheel. It was truly a sight to be seen; and one never to be forgotten.

Now, a whole day later, I still can't believe I was up there shuffling my two left feet in front of all those people. On top of that, I got to shake hands and "perform" with two comedians that brought many good times to my siblings and me so many years before. It goes without saying that I am very grateful to my wonderful mother for forking out the dough to let me have such an unforgettable experience. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

c. johnson

P.S. Video footage pending.

isn't it about ... time?

Time is a curious phenomenon. When I have too much of it, I'm not sure what to do with it, and I waste it. When I don't have enough of it, I'd give anything to have more. Time can't be bought, made, or stretched. Time never hesitates to move forward; it is unsympathetically punctual. I can't save it when I have extra in order to use it later. I can't tell time to wait because I'm currently busy. And I've never been able to convince time to just take a day off and let me catch up. No, time plays by its own rules--and it's very pedantic.

The knowledge that time is such an invaluable and elusive commodity should cause all of us to treat time with great care. Yet so many of us are guilty of abusing the time we are given. Why is this the case? Shouldn't we all be using every minute of our lives to the fullest? What keeps us from utilizing the short time that we have? The answers to these questions, I suppose, are unique to each individual. But for me, I think I have come closer to a personal conclusion.

Knowing that I should put my time to good use has motivated me to set goals and make plans that will help develop me into a well-rounded individual. Yet as I reflect on my own life, I find that I repeatedly fail to reach my goals, despite my best intentions. What's my excuse? I have none. But if I could place blame on any particular thing, it would be on my maternally inherited attribute of perfectionism. (No offense, Mom.) While in my adolescence, I adopted the maxim, "If something is worth doing, then it's worth doing right." So couple my perfectionism with my overly analytic mind, and what do I get? No time. Why? Because completing a simple task takes me approximately twelve times longer than the average bear.

At the end of each day, I find myself grumbling about my failure to complete this or make time for that. But a boy can only take so much! At times, the recurrent feeling of failing to reach my potential feels too heavy. While speaking on this very subject today, my bishop shared a piece of infinite wisdom. He said, "Sometimes we think the things that are most pressing are also the most important; they're not necessarily the same." He also shared a modified version of my hackneyed maxim, "Some of the things that are worth doing, are only worth doing adequately." Hear, hear, Bishop! Therein lies my personal handicap -- the ability to distinguish the "important and necessary" from the "good, but not worth the stress." School is without question the most sagacious time thief of all. I know that school is important for my future. However, I often let deadlines bind my hands from taking care of the other things (people) that need my attention the most. Nevertheless, with a better grasp on life's priorities, I am committed to make new plans and goals that focus more on the activities and people that are truly worthy of every minute of my precious time.

c. johnson

me the hypocrite

In objection to all my personal values, I have created a blog to which I will be making weekly posts. To all whom I have ridiculed for their extensive blogging, I extend my sincere apologies. Let me also add that my foot tastes just as badly as I imagined.
Seeing that another year has come and gone, it seems all too fitting to post a "highlights of 2009" entry. I realize that this is cliche on every possible level, but my well of creativity is bone dry and my homework deadline is looming. Monumental events from last year include the following. (Events are presented in no particular order.)

1. Receiving a scholarship. Before starting my first semester of school, I set a goal to earn an academic scholarship. After only two semesters, I accomplished this goal. This scholarship has eased the financial burden of getting an education and has allowed me to save for the future.
2. Changing my major. Despite my previous hopes and dreams of an Ivy League law degree, my plans (as usual) have changed. Law, while a very respectable field, just didn't seem to fit my future. So I have decided to let loose the true nerd inside of me and pursue a degree in Accounting. This new direction feels much more comfortable and correct for me. Because of my 180 degree change in direction, I will be frequenting BYU campus for a couple years longer than originally planned.
3. Visiting the old haunts. While talking to my last mission companion on the phone, we would reminisce about the good old days in the field and wish that we could just go back. Finally, instead of just talking about it, we got the novel idea of actually doing it--buying a plane ticket and going back! So that's exactly what we did. Let me just tell you that it was worth every penny. I love the people of the Czech Republic with all my heart. It was so spiritually rejuvenating to be back among them and see that my service--my blood, sweat, and tears--was not given in vain.
   
4. Getting old. There have not been many times in my life when I have felt old. In fact, before this past fall season, I cannot recall a single instance. It was last December when I realized that the missionaries from the first group I taught in the MTC have already returned home. This means that I have been "Brother" Johnson almost as long as I was "Starsi" Johnson. Oh, how time flies!

I'm sure you would expect more monumental experiences from an entire year of life, but the truth is that my life is rather plain. You probably already noticed that I was stretching to make just these 4 points. I have let my life become stale and boring. I hope that by this time next year, I'll have a rich supply of exciting events to share.

c. johnson