choosing doubt as a philosophy is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation
--yann martel

Monday, September 5, 2011

glimpses of godliness

People hesitantly shuffling to the front; the unified murmur of amen; the discomfort of your heart pounding in your ears: all things to describe yesterday's fast and testimony meeting.

As I sat in our 90-year-old chapel listening to person after person share their "I'm grateful fors," I started to ponder what I was grateful for. I reflected on my interactions with those around me: my wife, my family, my friends, my priesthood leadership. As I scanned through each memory, I began to see something beautiful. (Enter the pounding heart.)

In reviewing my interactions with others, I was able to see glimpses of godliness within each one of them--glimpses into the attributes, character, and love of God, embodied in my fellow man. The wife who loves and supports me regardless of my consistent follies, and abandons her own needs to take care of mine. The friends who build me up and appreciate me for who I am, and seek the will of God, even when it will mean difficult changes. The parents who sacrificed their everything to raise me, and continue to contribute to my happiness. The grandparents who began a legacy of righteousness. The siblings who not only put up with me, but also took me under their wings and befriended me. The nieces and nephews who radiate unmitigated purity. 

At least for a moment, God opened the eyes of my understanding and allowed me to see glimpses of His character, His attributes, and His love for me. I'm grateful for the monumental blessing it is to have such invaluable relationships with my loved ones. Moreover, in one way or another, each of those people provide me with glimpses of godliness. I thank you all.

c.  johnson

Thursday, September 1, 2011

like the sands of the hourglass

The rigors of life have tied my hands from spending time posting to the ol' blog. I am flabbergasted that I haven't recorded any of my thoughts since August of last year. As banal as this may sound, time flies.

I can just hear you asking me, "So, what's new? We can't wait to know!" (I'm sure you're all just dying of curiosity.) Well, I got married--took the plunge, sealed the deal, strapped on the ol' ball and chain. How's it been? It's been an adventure, full of highs and lows. I've never felt stretched so thin, but I've also never felt so supported. My lovely lady is always there to help me keep plugging along. Not only that, but often times she pulls me.

I've learned more about what love means in the past 10 months than in the 24 previous years of my life. And not necessarily because good at giving it; rather, I didn't used to understand love. I didn't know that love wasn't just the gooey stuff that makes me blush. I'd spent the first two decades of my life believing that was love. But I'm slowly (oh, so painfully slowly) learning what love really means. Love is less about twitterpation, and more about listening. It's less about being physical, and more about being understanding. It's less about being romantic, and more about being forgiving. It's less about the capability, and more about the willingness.

It's less about me, and more about her.

Life's turning out to be quite nice. Sure, life's got its issues--disappointments, stressors, failures, frustrations. But with some consistency and a touch of patience, I've been able to strip off pieces of life's facade and exposes life's true self: beauty, fulfillment, and belonging. Exposing it is worth the effort.

c. johnson

the peas at glacier park in mt

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

štěstí

this is what it's all about

mám tě moc rád, lásko má








































c. johnson

Saturday, June 12, 2010

ctj

i am 
a son, a brother, an uncle, a grandson, 
a teacher, a returned missionary, a boss, 
a boyfriend, a lifelong friend, 
a roommate, a student,
a photographer, a guitar-playin’ man,
a son of God. 

i am 
considerate. I am shy. I am lean. I am stressed. I am concerned. I am fuzzy.  I am attached. I am caring. I am fair-skinned. I am loving. I am strong. I am foolish. I am lost. I am intelligent. I am frugal. I am nice. I am searching. I am healthy. I am sensitive. I am young. I am sweaty. I am determined. I am chill. I am nerdy. I am tired. I am grateful. I am hungry. I am in love.

i like
the smell of grass. I like lifting. I like holding hands. I like burgers. I like wearing headphones. I like the first scoop of peanut butter. I like looking into her eyes. I like finishing a book. I like eating ice cream. I like learning new things. I like driving alone. I like working hard. I like making her smile. I like hearing thank you. I like expressing my feelings. I like being heard. I like making a difference. I like listening to the rain. I like doing something unexpected.

i dislike
pickles. I dislike arrogance. I dislike dishonesty. I dislike broccoli. I dislike having gas. I dislike failure. I dislike busywork. I dislike insincerity. I dislike dirt. I dislike my bad habits. I dislike making mistakes. I dislike being so worried.

i want
love. I want joy. I want knowledge. I want security. I want to see. I want peace. I want simplicity. I want to go. I want a family. I want to understand.

i need
closeness. I need a hand. I need direction. I need the spirit.

i
care. I pray. I sleep. I stress. I seek. I desire. I struggle. I eat. I study. I worry. I sing. I read. I listen. I spend. I cook. I ask. I work. I cry. I plan. I fail. I repent. I move on. I obey. I yearn. I help. I laugh. I love.

i am
a sinner; yet, I am a saint.

c. johnson

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

i tried my hand at poetry

I'll leave this little verse up to your own interpretation.

Note: Poem inspired by actual events.

(You'll probably have to click on it to be able to read it.)























c. johnson

Sunday, March 28, 2010

sun protection factor

"The sun is mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace ...." So goes the song that carols a warning to all those who expose themselves to the sun's magnificent power.

What to do on a beautifully sunny Sabbath day? Well, I'll tell you what I did. I took me a blanket and headed to the park for some ponder time. The setting was picture perfect: some appreciated sunshine, a slight breeze, a blanket under my back, and my books to keep me company. I had nothing but time on my hands. Now, the trouble with this situation is not the setting, but rather the time of day. Not only was it a Sunday afternoon, but also a Fast Sunday. You can probably see where this is headed.

After a wonderful hour in the sun, reading and recording my thoughts, I began to feel quite sleepy. I thought to myself, "Hey, Self, you really ought to move into the shade now. You've been out here for a while. Don't forget that this is your first exposure to the sun this year." Being the genius that I am, however, I decided instead to lie down and rest my eyes for just a few more minutes. Rest my eyes? Who am I kidding? I've known since I was four what "resting my eyes" means; I learned that one from my parents.

The ending to this story should be astutely obvious at this point: my eye resting episode lasted for almost an hour. When I was awakened by a welcome phone call, I didn't immediately realize the predicament I had put myself into. But soon after I began to feel the tight, achy effects from the lack of UV protection. Simply put, I got cooked.

On the bright side, the nap was fantastic.

c. johnson

Sunday, March 21, 2010

what a character

Due to my lack of preparation and energy, I'm going to just post another quote that has affected my life for the better. Sorry to disappoint. But take wisdom from a man who's worthy of giving it.

Getting through the hazards of life requires understanding, skill, experience, and self-assurance like that required to sink a difficult basket under pressure. In the game of life, that is called righteous character. Such character is not developed in moments of great challenge or temptation. That is when it is used. Character is woven quietly from the threads of hundreds of correct decisions (like practice sessions).

When strengthened by obedience and worthy acts, correct decisions form a fabric of character that brings victory in time of great need. Righteous character provides the foundation of spiritual strength that enables you to make difficult, extremely important decisions correctly when they seem overpowering. Righteous character is what you are. It is more important than what you own, what you have learned, or what you have accomplished. It allows you to be trusted. It opens the door to help from the Lord in moments of great challenge or temptation. --Elder Richard G. Scott

This is a true principle that I am striving to live by.

c. johnson