everything's made up and the points don't matter

Up until yesterday, when people asked the tired question, "What is your most embarrassing moment?" I had always answered with a languid, "Um, I don't know." Not to be hard on myself, but is that completely lame or what? I mean, what kind of boring life am I living here? (Those are more of rhetorical questions, by the way.) Last night's events, however, have provided me with not only my claim to fame, but also with a trophy-winning, embarrassing moment.

To tell the story completely, I will backtrack to my teenage years. On any normal weeknight, it was not uncommon to find my family in the basement playing games, shooting pool, and basking in the warm glow of cable television. There was one show, however, that we seldom missed: Who's line is it anyway? I have fond memories of my siblings and I laughing until our faces hurt; then recapping the highlights together and chuckling some more. Well, it's been many years since those times, and I'd almost forgotten about our evening ritual. That is, until my uberthoughtful mother gave me the birthday present of the century--third-row tickets to the Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood show. (For those of you who are lost, they are two of the comedians from Who's line is it anyway?.)

After months of anxious anticipation, my sister Mandy and I finally made our way to Salt Lake City for the show. When they walked out on stage, I could hardly contain my excitement for what was coming. Within seconds, they had the entire audience of 2000 fans throwing their heads back in giddy laughter.

You may be wondering at this point of the story when the embarrassing moment happens. Well, as you may know, these comedians frequently invite people from the audience to participate in the show. About an hour into the performance, they started scanning the audience for assistants. Brad pointed at two guys several rows behind me and said, "You two look like trouble. Come on up here!" In the moments that followed, my spidey sense kicked in, and I knew he was coming for me. Sure enough, Brad looked right at me and said, "You! You look like the opposite of trouble. Come on up!"

To make an already long story short, I'll get to the meaty part. They called us up to be part of a rap music video; and I was a backup dancer. Those of you who know me are realizing right now why this is unquestionably my most embarrassing moment. Simply put, I can't dance. The next few minutes were an awkwardly long series of booty shaking, handstands, and even a cartwheel. It was truly a sight to be seen; and one never to be forgotten.

Now, a whole day later, I still can't believe I was up there shuffling my two left feet in front of all those people. On top of that, I got to shake hands and "perform" with two comedians that brought many good times to my siblings and me so many years before. It goes without saying that I am very grateful to my wonderful mother for forking out the dough to let me have such an unforgettable experience. Thank you, Mom. I love you.

c. johnson

P.S. Video footage pending.