finding purpose in the routine

The day dawn is breaking and Clay is still sleeping. The earliest rays of sunshine should bring joy of a new day and a smile to my face, but rather they usually bring two taps of the snooze button and a set of dark-circled, puffy eyes. Nevertheless, somehow I make myself roll out of bed every morning to the same routine: pray without falling back asleep, stumble into the bathroom, make that funny the-lights-are-way-too-bright face, climb in the shower, try to stop that squealing noise the shower makes, shave, get dressed, eat a bowl of something soggy, and head off to defend the world from evil.

If any of this is sounding familiar, then you're in good company. The question on my mind is why do I do it? What's the purpose of it all? What in the world is more enticing than the comfort of my BYU Snuggie-covered bed? Why do I even bother to get up when I know that the day will just be filled with ornery people and things that stress me out? Do I do it out of some sense of duty or obligation? Am I afraid that I won't like up to somebody's expectations of me? Do I fear what others will think if I don't prove to be a hardworking, diligent RM? The answers to this myriad of questions are more knotty and lengthy than I would have time to discuss on my little blog. But one thing is for sure: something--some feeling, desire, or drive--rolls me out of bed each morning and keeps me moving forward no matter how bad the previous day was.

The trouble with all of this philosophizing is trying to come to some type of practical conclusion. What am I getting at? How do I put a finger on a specific thing that drives me? Well, were I to try to consolidate the complexity of what keeps my feet moving forward, I would name one indispensable attribute: hope. The reason why I ever pull my head off my pillow is because I have hope that today will be a better day than yesterday; hope that despite the obvious weaknesses I posses, I have a compassionate Creator who is very aware of my efforts to improve; hope that although I made mistakes yesterday, today is not yesterday at all--today is a new day, void of all the weight of yesterday's sorrows; and hope that the effort I put into living today to its fullest is not in vain.

I have great hope in God's plan for me and hope in the happiness that awaits me. True, most days really aren't that spectacular. No, my life hasn't been turning out the way I had planned (not even close). But I have hope that the best is yet to come. I truly believe that “whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world … which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God” (Ether 12:4). Indeed it is a hope in His plan that keeps me going. Although I have never been more uncertain of what lies ahead, I have hope that the path He has laid out for me is one of growth and lasting happiness.

c. johnson